Right now, it seems like a big deal. I'm so nervous. I took a test drive to the test center today, just to scope it out, and I almost started crying on the way back, thinking that "wow, next time I make this drive, there will be no turning back."
Okay, I'm being a little dramatic. But I'm scared. A librarian I work with told me today that she took the test several times. That got me worrying, because I don't have time to take the test multiple times.
It's now or never.
So many things to worry about: What if I blank on the essay? What if my alarm doesn't go off? What if the car breaks down on the way there? What if I accidentally leave my cell phone in my bag, and it goes off, and they kick me out because you're not even allowed cell phones in the BUILDING, much less the test room? Speaking of which, what kind of rule is that? They have SO MANY rules. What if I break a rule I didn't even know existed?
But I keep telling myself: There are people much stupider than me taking this test. That's a terrible mantra, I know, but it makes me feel better. And it's true. I mean, think about it, there are people out there with absolutely no common sense. The kind of people who park right next to the tow-away sign.
And I just keep telling myself, there's nothing more I could've done to prepare. I did every practice problem in my prep book. Except for the last math section - I just couldn't do it. Will that be the one that gets me? And what about all those vocab flashcards I never got to, the ones that are still sitting in a little pile on my nightstand. See, that's where this thinking gets me. I tell myself I did everything I could've done, but there's always more. I mean, I could've started studying a year ago. But at the end of the day, I know I couldn't have stopped my whole life for the GRE. And hopefully in the end I'll be glad I didn't, because there's more to my life than this test.
Which brings me to my last point. Yesterday, I was on the phone with my dad, and he started telling me about how he took the GRE for physics. I asked him what he got. He couldn't remember.
Because, really, the GRE isn't that important.
Someday, I know something is going to happen that will be worth worrying about, worth the time. And the just GRE isn't it.