Austhillburgh

Whenever I'm feeling frustrated with some (or several) aspect(s) of my life here in Gainesville/Undergrad world, I dream of a magical place called Austhillburgh

Or ChapelPittstin, or PittHillAus, or Auschaburgh, or any other combination of the names Austin, Chapel Hill, and Pittsburgh, the three places where I might live during Graduate school. When something bad or annoying happens here here, and I'll just say to myself "I bet this would never happen in Pitthillaus!" Even if it's not true, it's nice to dream, you know, and look forward to the future. (And, okay, full disclosure, sometimes I really just think "I bet this wouldn't happen in Chapel Hill," because that's probably where I most want to go, and is also the most familiar, but I try not to put all my eggs in one basket, as my mother says.)

Austin

Pittsburgh

Chapel Hill

For example, last night, I was driving around Gainesville and got really frustrated with the road system. Seriously, what is up with the roads in this city? Going anywhere between 4-7 pm is pretty much impossible. And don't even get me started on the traffic lights. You know how in normal cities all the lights on a long street turn green one right after the other? So that people traveling down that road don't have to stop every five seconds and waste tons of gas AND time? Not here. In Gainesville, you will sit at a red light for ten minutes, then drive one block, only to be stopped at another light. I am told this was done on purpose, to prevent people (read: students) from speeding. But people still speed, now they just speed to catch the light before it turns red, sometimes going through even after it IS red.  Plus, all the roads need to have more lanes. This city is growing, people. I bet they don't have these kinds of problems in Auspelburgh. I bet there, the traffic flows freely and smoothly. And maybe - just maybe- it's actually possible to get your take-out home before it gets cold. Dare to dream...

Where I live now

Also, I really hope that when I go to Chapelpittsin, I will have a nicer apartment than the one I have now. You know, one where the appliances aren't from the 18th century, and where things don't break on a weekly basis. I kid you not: In the time that we've lived here, both the toilet and the washing machine have broken. The toilet was so broken that it had to be completely replaced. (Apparently the previous occupants flushed a paintbrush down.) Plus, the fridge keeps making scary noises, and the dishwasher only cleans when it feels like it (about every third wash, for some reason).  And then there's the parking situation. You might remember this photo:

Here in my Gainesville apartment, there are always at LEAST three people illegally parked in the lot. You would not believe the maneuvers I've had to do to get out of my carport. Sometimes I have to drive backwards for ten feet, sometimes I have to make an eighty point turn. One time I couldn't leave my house because someone was blocking me in. This would never be an issue in the great state of North Pennsylexas. There, parking is free and abundant, and the considerate citizens don't park one foot behind your bumper and expect you to still get out. Yes, things are different in Austinhillburgh, land of dreams...

And in Chapauspitt, people are not noisy. They do not wake you up at 4 AM, screaming out the lyrics to Super Bass, or crying on the curb because they lost their shoes. Neighbors do not use their ridiculous stereo systems to shake the walls of other neighbors, nor do they listen to obnoxious techno music. They don't leave trash in your driveway, and they certainly don't sit out on their porches until the late hours of the night.

Oh and, ladies, all the gentlemen of Burghchapeltin are super nice, super hot, and available. They are interesting and funny and would never dream of stringing you along for six months. Also, in a bill unanimously passed by the state senate, frats are outlawed in Texsylina.

It's not that I hate Gainesville. There are many wonderful things about living here. And I don't want to rush into the future too much. I try to remind myself to enjoy senior year, and try to stop myself from constantly thinking about the future. Someday I might even miss Gainesville. But for now, it's just fun to imagine...another place...

Greetings from Austhillburgh. Population: 1

(In case you were wondering, in that photo, Pittsburgh is on the left, Chapel Hill center, and Austin on the right.)


PS. Here is a super funny thing I found while googling Chapel Hill. It was just too good not to share. Apparently it is a painting by Laura Brightwood called The Freshman (source) (Side note: UNC's mascot is the ram. But I never saw anything like this happening on campus...)